September Eleventh - It is a Memorial not an "Anniversary"
*Originally Published at the Houston Chronicle on September 9, 2011
I remember with vivid detail the day we were attacked. A close friend was traveling and I remember calling to see if he was safe. I can still see the horrible images that were burned into our memories, images of people leaping from buildings ablaze only to plummet to a different kind of death. I was a Muslim for only a year and I remember the feeling of disgust when I found out other Muslims carried out these acts of terror.
I remember arriving at work that day and my manager waiting for me, assuring me that I had his support. He kept asking me if I was OK? I would think to myself why wouldn't I be? It was the people of New York we should be worried about. He told me if any of our customers had issues with me he would personally handle them and escort them out of the store. I thought to myself, why would anyone have a beef with me? It was at that moment I felt a new kind of shock—a gut- wrenching awareness that people associate me with the villains who murdered innocent civilian men, women and children?
At that moment, I still didn't recognize my life had changed. In fact, I was much more puzzled than comforted by my manager’s concern. The day went on without additional incidents and I allowed myself to think that my manager was just being a great friend, a caring employer and a good human being, and that his worries were unfounded.
In the hours that passed, we heard stories of incredible sacrifice, heroic actions and as a nation getting unified. I was saddened for, and yet also proud of, my homeland.
We saw news reports of rabbis, priests and ministers stationing themselves at mosques across the country. Other stories showed everyday citizens, people of goodwill, supporting one another in various ways--from being human shields to simple acts of empathy and kindness.
Our President George W. Bush repeatedly assured the nation that Americans of all faiths were just that, Americans. He visited a mosque, calling for unity, and we seemed to have responded.
Here in Houston volunteers from the Houston Muslim community led by example, holding open houses, responding to speaker requests and giving the local media interviews.
I watched all this with many other Muslim students wondering what it all meant.
You see, as the child of a Scotch-Irish father who served in the U.S. Army and a Mexican-American mother, born right here in Texas, I could not fathom that people would look at me with suspicion or any commonality with some despicable group of terrorists.
As an outspoken student, studying history and public relations I learned that there was a huge need for information. I developed a following of students who would walk with me from one class to the next wanting a Muslim's perspective on what was taught in our courses or the news of the day. All I could offer is what I was taught from the faith's theology and principles, and my classmates were respectful and engaging. I appreciated that. But I did not realize that my choice to worship God, alone, without any partners and to acknowledge my belief that Muhammad was God's final prophet, did make me an "other."
I didn’t recognize that the reason people asked questions or that my manager was concerned for me was that some fellow Americans saw me as somehow less American-- or even as a potential threat.
Back at my job, things became clear. You see, I worked in a 24-hour pharmacy as a technician. People are either sick or having insurance problems when they go to the pharmacy, so I often had to face upset customers. It was in that role that a dose of reality hit.
I can still see the man who told me “go back where you came from." He had on overalls with no shirt underneath, a red handkerchief hung out of his back pocket and he wore a blue and white mesh ball cap. He had a legitimate reason to be perturbed. His insurance didn’t cover what his doctor prescribed. I was trying to explain to him that we were working with his doctor to get an alternative prescription that would be covered when he said to me, "We don't like it when you people come over here and tell us how to do things! Go back where you come from."
I stood there thinking. You want me to go to El Paso?
After what seemed like a minute, but likely was just a split second of staring eye to eye, I replied, “I'm a Texan and when your doctor calls back I will let you know.”
As he stormed off I remember wondering if this guy had been watching me say my prayers in the back of the pharmacy? Maybe he thought I was Mexican? No, that couldn't be it; most people say I favor my father.
Since that time I have seen a lot. As a person of faith, I’ve learned to try to live by my values and principles, and no matter how many times I fail, I am assured by the fact that God's mercy is infinite.
These days, few things disturb me as much as hearing people refer to the upcoming September 11th memorial events as an "anniversary."
People, this is not a joyous time. It is a time to honor the fallen, the injured and their families.
It is a time to ponder what type of future we want to build for our children. It is time for our society to heal.
A wise man once taught his followers a parable. The story went like this: People on a voyage drew lots for their seats on a boat. Some got the upper deck, some the lower deck. The lower deck didn’t have access to fresh air or water. When the people on the lower deck wanted water, they had to go up to the top deck, troubling them. So they said, “Let us make a hole in our share of the ship (and get water) to avoid troubling those above.” Yet if the people on the upper part allowed this plan, everyone on the ship would be on a sinking vessel--but if they prevented the plan, both parties would be safe.
This year as we memorialize September 11th let us be like the people of the upper deck. When some of us seek to sow division, let’s all recognize it as the hole that will sink the entire ship. An anniversary moment? No, it’s why we must remember that terrorism is not a discriminating tactic and we were all attacked, as a nation on 9/11/2001.
